The Secrets We Keep by Mia Hayes

Author:Mia Hayes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: FinnStar

The longer I sit in the water, the more upset I become with myself. I may not be directly responsible for Sarah’s death, but I am responsible for my actions in Key West. When Pete touched me, it was all there — the butterflies, the what-ifs, the desire to feel his lips on mine.

I’ve been lying to myself. Pete has an effect on my that isn’t appropriate, and the only thing holding me back from surrendering to Pete is my desire to be better than Jason. I like holding my moral superiority over him. I haven’t broken my vows. I haven’t betrayed his trust. I’ve been a good, loyal wife and stayed with him when it would have been so much easier to leave. Maybe, at first, it was because I didn’t want to lose the boys, but now, it’s because Jason and I, we are getting back on track. We’re trying.

But each time I interact with Pete, the more I want him. His smile, his touch, all of it. Of him. I want all of him.

Jesus. How can I even think such things? Veronica doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. She may be chilly toward me, but she has every right to be. Especially, if she can see what I’ve failed to acknowledge.

Is it possible to fall for someone you never truly got over?

One thing I’m certain of is that I’m definitely not in love with Jason. Or at least not the way I was before I discovered his affair, and with each day that passes, I worry I will never be again. But I have to keep trying. I owe that to the boys. Plus, how many other men would put up with my ups and downs like Jason? No, I’m better off if I stay and try to make this work.

I sink deeper into the water and hit the jet function with my big toe. The water swirls around me as I close my eyes. Jason was right, the steam is making me feel better.

This is my life. I live in the middle of nowhere and am contemplating a possible affair with a guy I fell for twenty years ago. Isn’t that enough time for false feelings to disappear? What we had was immature and silly, and I’ve built a life with Jason – and it includes amazing kids, a mortgage, and one huge broken heart.

I need to stay away from Pete because Key West was just a warning. Who knows what will happen next time — especially if I’m hypomanic.

The problem is, if I’m honest with myself, I want Pete to pick me.

Really, I just want someone, anyone, to choose me.

Because Jason certainly didn’t.

And I deserve to be chosen.

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